Today marks the 24th release-aversary of a truly majestic Celine Dion ballad, “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” Apparently Meat Loaf’s favorite collaborator Jim Steinman wrote it, and Mr. Loaf wanted it for his second Bat Out of Hell album, which feels ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to me — this is SUCH a Meat joint — but Steinman allegedly sued to block this because he wanted a woman to sing it. (The Loaf Blower eventually recorded a version for Bat Out Of Hell III that did very well in Norway, per Wikipedia.) Loafster eventually put “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” on the album. And I’ve just birthed a major musical project: Benemeat Loafberbatch records the songs of Celine Dion, and Celine Dion records the songs of Meatgret Loafwood, and they’re released as a double album. Celine would slay “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad,” and I think her “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” would be a camp classic; for his part, Meatifer Loafpez really SHOULD take a crack at the Titanic song or the one from Up Close and Personal. It CANNOT be them duetting together, though. I mean, they can record a new song together if they want to but it really ought to be them performing the catalog without input from the other person.

But: This is a motherf’ing video-off.

First up: Ms. Celine Dion.

Stefon would agree that IT HAS EVERYTHING. Ghost riders! Capes! Wind! Candles! Running! That thing where there’s a ton of plot before a single note is even sung! Spectral makeouts! It’s all there.

And in the other corner, the Meatchel B. Loafdan version:

It ALSO has everything. Ghost duets! Capes! Masks! Bathtubs! Bored-looking female extras! Pot pourri, I think! That thing where the person you thought was a ghost might suddenly be driving!

Also, let’s please try to make the Cemeat Dionloaf joint album happen. DEMAND IT. FOR ALL OF US.

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