Listen, if I were rich, you bet I’d be showing up at every Olympics event I could humanly wedge my corporeal form inside. And I would also, like Keith Urban, be recording the entire thing on my phone. RELATABLE!

[Photos: MEGA/GC Images, Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images, ANNE-CHRISTINE POUJOULAT/AFP via Getty Images, Markus Gilliar – GES Sportfoto/Getty Images]