I feel like officially becoming a Noted Kook should involve a ceremony, no? Like Rita Wilson and Helena Bonham Carter (the former wearing a dress that resembles a chandelier, the latter in two different shoes) usher you into an eccentrically decorated London townhouse and serve you sparking wine in homemade ceramic tumblers while Carol Alt and Noomi Rapace recite the Noted Kook Blessing over you. (This is just a dramatic reading of George Michael’s “Father Figure.”) Then you join Parker Posey and Jackée (I LOVE Jackée and feel she has Noted Kook Energy if she wants to unleash it) in the garden for canapes and gossip. The evening concludes in the sauna with Olivia Colman where she tells you everyone she hates in glorious detail. You are then carefully wrapped into a chauffeured car to take you home along with your swag bag, which includes wacky sunglasses, a polka-dot Fashion Turban, a plaid cape, a bag of green grapes, two copies of the newest Nigella Lawson cookbook, and a mix tape you have no way to play.

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