Fug Madness 2020: Ellie Goulding vs. Julianne Hough May Break Your Brains

Jump to the polls: (1) Bella Hadid v. (9) Ciara · (5) Ellie Goulding v. (4) Julianne Hough

---

(1) Bella Hadid v. (9) Ciara

Get ready for two very pretty women with crazy-ass wardrobes. I feel like I could say, “her head looks great here, but” about like 92% of all of these looks:

Also, just so you know, Bella had a VARIETY of different hair colors this eligibility period. Different hair colors and a very distressing travel outfit. This look only makes sense if you’re going to step aerobics:

Weirdly, it’s like the black socks that trouble me the most? (On a long list of troubling things.)

She also wore this basic outfit about sixty-five times this year. She is LOVING a napkin tied to her boobs with ribbons in this hellscape time:

She also wore this weird cropped denim jacket held together with safety pins (intentionally), and this bra as a top.

This is likewise confusing:

What did I say about the cropped halter? BEHOLD:

I believe this is her costume for the model-fronted remake of Blade:

From leather…to denim:

A lot of it. All of it. All of the denim!!!

I have to admit, in these dark days, that I hate this corny shirt:

This is a mere taste of her shenanigans! We’ve also got this other ALL LEATHER EXPERIENCE, this outfit that might actually be a Ghostbusters costume, and these knee feathers.

Ciara’s face also looks great in all of these, and she does NOT wear a corny shirt, at least. She DOES wear HUGE pants, though:

They’re like curtains. Curtain pants. Curtants? Pantains? We’ll work on that.

I need a week or two to come up with the word for this top-train-ruffle situation:

Ciara really IS all about curtains repurposed as clothing at the moment, isn’t she?

This is like the cutest formal bathing suit cover-up:

And this makes me laugh. Is it a shout-out to Russell Wilson’s football gear?

Hey, remember what I said about curtains? Here’s one repurposed as a TRAIN:

Speaking of repurposing, here’s a necklace as a shirt:

And yet another curtain, this time a VERY sheer one over a bathing suit:

This seems like something she wore a green-screen-required video game shot:

I WOULD buy a Sims expansion pack that let me play as Ciara, I’m not going to lie.

But that’s not all! She also wore these VERY on-theme boots, ALL this leather, and this….top? And ALL this leopard.

(5) Ellie Goulding v. (5) Julianne Hough

Now that I’ve seen these snaps together, I feel like Ellie and Julianne COULD star as sisters in some upcoming musical, although I don’t know if Ellie can act. (I have my doubts about Julianne’s wardrobe, but she WAS very charming in the Rock of Ages movie.)

Something about this dress looks like the cocktail version of those whimsical aprons that look like a bikini body

This is great if you’re in an Esther Williams movie, but she is NOT. Although that cardigan is legit very good:

Is this TRACK PANTS and a tube top of feathers? This feels like Wardrobe By Mad Libs:

This definitely looks contagious:

Honestly, this might ALSO be contagious:

Is “contagious” the theme of her wardrobe right now? I guess it’s….timely???

I feel like three or four other people in this Fug Madness have already worn this. Maybe they’ll meet up eventually!

Over to Ellie:

I am so used to saying, “pick a sleeve,” but I guess this is time for PICK A LEG.

Check out these massive sleeves. Even Anne Shirley is like, “dial it down, sister.”

These are ALSO gigantic sleeves…among everything else:

Talk about getting dressed via MadLib. That is a hot, convoluted mess.

Although honestly so is this:

I am beginning to think Ellie should have been seeded higher:

And I predict this vote will be tight. Before you get to it, make sure you look at Julianne’s archives, and Ellie’s as well.